Dana and I celebrated our 10 year anniversary earlier this month. We started dating in early September 2007, and since our first date was on 9/11/07, we chose to get married on 9/28/13, so we could still celebrate our anniversary in September. I know, it's crazy that we would choose 9/11 as the date for our first date, but when you ask a woman if she'd like to go out, and she says "yes", you just immediately freak out and say, "How about tomorrow night?" Well, she said "sure," and "tomorrow night" was 9/11.
It can also be confusing when I tell people we just celebrated our 10 year anniversary, and then when I see the look of amazement on their faces because they think we've been married for that long, I quickly inform them that we have only been married for 4 years. We would have gotten married beforehand, but it wasn't legal for the first 5 years of our relationship. Not all lesbians do the whole U-haul first date, and some of us actually do take our time jumping into marriage. Dana turned down 13 of my proposals before she finally asked me if I'd marry her so we could get the tax break. What can I say? When you know, you know.
We went out for dinner just the two of us to Cala in SF (https://www.calarestaurant.com). I have been wanting to eat there since they opened two years ago, and the meal and experience was everything I had hoped, and more. Sawyer's Aunt Laura, Aunt Jaclyn, and Uncle Ryan came over to babysit him. Yes. It took THREE adults, take-out food, 1 bottle of Sauvignon Blanc, two books, Lincoln and Oakley (a boxer), and whiskey to babysit our son. Weirdly, there were four jelly jars that smelled like whiskey at the end of the night, which makes me wonder whether or not Sawyer also enjoyed some whiskey. No wonder he slept well that night!
We exchanged gifts, and here is where I fucked up. I'm usually an excellent gift-giver. It's something I enjoy doing, and I really love the look on someone's face when they receive something they like. Part of my gift to Dana was not spending a lot of money on a gift for her since we're on a very tight budget. I decided to get her a book that I thought she'd enjoy since she loves history, reads a lot of current events, and given the political shit-storm we're in with this administration, a book that might warn us about not repeating the past. I bought her: The Origins of Totalitarianism, by Hannah Arendt. I just explained to you why I bought her the book, but did not feel the need to explain why to the gentleman behind the register at Napa Bookmine (http://www.napabookmine.com) when I went to pay. I just asked if he'd please wrap it and indicated that it was for my wife as an anniversary gift (so he wouldn't wrap it in birthday wrap). He read the title, looked at me plainly, and said, "She's gonna leave you." I laughed, and of course my stupidity on the purchase of this book, and not heeding this gentleman's advice, is what prompted this blog. I should also mention that I know a lot of the people that work in the store because I'm a book worm, so I'm always looking for more reading material, and I love to buy journals from there. He felt comfortable sharing this advice with me. I just didn't listen.
I should have listened.
I also gave Dana a gift certificate to Sportago (http://www.sportago.com) because unfortunately both of our puffy Patagonia jackets were stolen earlier this year, and we need to replace them before we head up to the mountains this Winter. I thought that this was a thoughtful and practical gift, but now that I think about it, I should have just bought her a jacket any other time but our 10 year anniversary.
I suck.
Dana's gift to me? Fuckin' amazeballs!!! She gave me a sweet card, and in the card she informed me that she is taking me to Yosemite in April. I HAVE BEEN WANTING TO GO TO YOSEMITE SINCE WE MOVED TO CALIFORNIA IN 2008!!!!!! I practically give Dana, her Mom, and sister shit weekly for going without me in 2009. And not only do we get to go, but her family is watching Sawyer and Lincoln. We are finally having our honeymoon!!! I practically cried. This is absolutely the sweetest gift she could have given me, besides our son. And all I did was give her a book and a gift certificate. I have no idea how I will ever redeem myself, but we do have our 5 year wedding anniversary next year, so I will definitely give her a much better gift then.
On our way home from our anniversary dinner, Dana asked if we needed to celebrate our 4 year wedding anniversary that is coming up in a few weeks. Because we're on a tight budget, and we just spent a lot of money for dinner and the excellent gift she gave me, I knew that she didn't want to spend any more money. I just smiled and said, "Nope. We'll just give each other high-5s." She smiled. I think I'll tack my response onto my gift to her. At least she liked one of my gifts then!
Photo by Kevin Weinstein