These are trying times. Sheltering-in-Place for 2.5 weeks without work is not something most of us would ask for. The fear of possibly not having any work to return to when they lift this “order,” or for those who already lost their jobs so they may apply for unemployment benefits with the hope of being rehired when this shit storm blows over, is stress that we are all struggling to deal with.
Some families with children are stressing over home-school. Our children are 1 and almost 4 years old, so we’re choosing to not stress over home-schooling and just letting them play, entertain themselves, and helping us a bit here-or-there with some chores. Anything to lower their stress level and ours is a plus in my book. Besides, they’re toddlers. They’re not suppose to have school work yet. Their daily To-Do List is literally: wash hands singing the ‘Happy Birthday Song’ twice; eat your meals and snacks; drink plenty of water and milk; PLAY; take naps; enjoy your bath; read books; color, paint and draw; mind your ‘Ps’ and ‘Qs;’ run, walk, scooter, and/or bike outside; help Mommies when we ask; and occasionally be bored.
It’s actually perfectly ok for our kids to learn how to entertain themselves and occasionally be bored. We as adults, should also be ok with boredom. We have gotten into the habit of overwhelming our schedules with events and have forgotten how to just hang at home.
This time at home with the family, minus the fear of a lack of income if this shelter-in-place extends past 4/8/20, is honestly how we spend most of our weekends—we relax at home (some people think we’re asocial…and I’m ok with that). We are doing our best to approach each day just as if it’s a typical Saturday or Sunday for us. Unfortunately we are repeatedly having to explain to our oldest why we can’t see any of his friends at the park right now, and why he isn’t allowed to see Grandma and Grandpa either, which is probably the worst part of this whole thing. I hate telling to him that we can’t see them because we’re trying to make sure they don’t get sick, and that we don’t get sick. It’s very difficult during FaceTime sessions with Grandma and Grandpa when their Aunts and Uncle are over there hanging out. No matter what we say, he just doesn’t understand why we don’t drive to their house to also hang out with them and the rest of the family. Toddlers are only going to understand so much, and honestly, I kinda don’t understand either. I mean I do, but I feel for him, so I also don’t.
And perhaps their minimal understanding is best right now, given how scary the present and future is. I have a feeling this is not the first pandemic our sons are going to have to deal with. ( I mean, let’s not forget the climate crisis that is currently going on as well.) I can only hope that how we are handling this fuckery is a lesson they will hold onto, and then implement when they have to deal with it in the future. Hopefully they’ll try to remain calm and maintain some normalcy in their lives with the necessary steps in place in order to stay safe. Hopefully they’ll also have a savings account for an emergency situation, along with at least 2 weeks of pantry goods, enough toilet paper that they don’t have to go to the store in the early morning to get a ticket and stand in line in order to purchase a small package of toilet paper because assholes hoarded all the TP thinking that was one way they were going to defeat COVID19. And maybe they will also use birth control until they are fully capable of supporting 1 or 2 children, keeping in mind that due to the climate crisis the food will perhaps be minimal, and you never know when there is another pandemic around the corner that might take your child(ten) away from you.
On that note…I think I will do some deep breathing, perhaps meditate, and go for a bike ride. I think this blog post has helped me, but that last bit raised my stress level a bit and it’s time for some self-care.
Be well and safe everyone, and try to not verbally attack people just because your stress level is high. Wave at people as you walk/bike/scooter past them from 6+ feet away. Smile!!! A smile can go a long way. We will get through this.
LET THEM PLAY!!!!!! Playtime helps to lower their stress levels, and besides, happiness is awesome!