“Eeny, meeny, miny, mo
Catch a tiger by the toe
If he hollers, let him go
Eeny, meeny, miny, mo.”
People keep asking us how we decided that Dana would be the one to get pregnant. I feel the need to point out to those inquirers that she already has the breasts and the hips, so it was an obvious choice. For some odd reason, no one accepts that explanation. Fine. I'll give you a few more: you can flip a coin; both try to get pregnant at the same time and see who fates strikes; perhaps one is interested and the other immediately gets the short end of the pregnancy test stick; or in our case (and this is the truth, because it always takes a few cracks from me before I am truly honest...or so my therapist tells me), your wife sits down, does the math, and determines that it will be cheaper if she is the one to get pregnant. Oye vey. That is the most calculated decision I have ever been involved in.
Once it was decided that she would be the one to stretch out her body, we scheduled an appointment with a fertility doctor and started the long, expensive, never-ending, and invasive process of trying to turn her into an incubator. She is now 31 weeks pregnant, we are still preparing for this little Wiggler to fall into our laps (that's how it happens, right?) and I cried, told her we should have a second child via my uterus, and got her to agree without using a calculator. It was a freakin' miracle folks.
I have been trying to start the IVF procedure since January, but my body is being...uncooperative. I should have expected this. I rarely cooperate with others, so why would my body cooperate with IVF? Now it looks like my IVF procedure might overlap with the birth of our son, and I'm hopeful that accomplishing these two feats at the same time will reinforce that we are going to be phenomenal Mommies that can juggle a lot and come out on top with our kids and Lincoln in-tow.
