I was home sick today, and even though I did rest, I accomplished a lot. I organized paperwork, went through our bookshelves looking for books to donate, did laundry...whatever my symptoms allowed me to do. Dana finally noticed some of the things I did right when I was crawling into bed.  

Dana: You washed the sheets and stacked the pillows so nicely to make them look taller! That's very cute honey. Thank you.  

Me: Well, I wanted to show you how great I would be as a stay-at-home wife...while Sawyer is in daycare. 

Dana: Oh! So I'll just come home from work to you in an apron (I interject and tell her, "Just an apron, no other clothes."), dinner is ready, the kids are in bed, and when I sit down you immediately light a cigar for me? 

Me: Why do we now have cancer?  

Looks like I'll be returning to work just to insure my wife doesn't start a nasty smoking habit.